What Happens When TP1-chan Gets a Gundam...^_~
by Trmpetplaya1
Summary: Hehehe...I finally get a hold of some gundams! (and some kawaii little pilots to go w/ em...hehehe...) Oh, and to forewarn you: there is some craziness in this fic! Really funny, though. R&R! ^_^


## What Happens When TP1-chan Gets a Gundam…

AHHH!!!! *has just finished 4 cokes and is on her 5th one* HYPERHYPERHYPER!!! *ahem* Well, I've been complaining for weeks now how much I wanted a gundam, and I thought, 'What would happen if I actually got one?' Ohohohoho!!

Heero-kun: Do we _really wanna know?_

TP1-chan: Do you _really want me to sic Relena on you?_

Heero-kun: *cringe* Nononono!! I was just joking, oh great TP1-sama!! *bows repeatedly*

That's better! ^_^ I love torturing helpless anime guys…^_~ R&R!!

DISCLIAMER: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did, I'd kill off Relena and have me as Heero's girlfriend. (Heero-kun: Which one is worse? -_- ()) I HEARD THAT!!! *chases after him w/ her indestructible blue mallet* Heero-kun: AHHHH!!!!!

Director: And…CUT!!

*the five kawaii gundam pilots come off set* 

Director: Perfect, guys! Take five.

*guys go to shower off before next scene*

Heero: You know, Duo, I think you kinda messed up that scene a little, back there.

Duo: Ha! What do you know, Mr. I-can't-even-look-Relena-in-the-face-because-she's-so-ugly! The director made us do that scene 12 times because you weren't being 'sincere'!

Heero: Shut up, braid-boy!

*guys get into mock fight, enter shower room laughing*

Heero: Uh, guys? Something doesn't feel right…

Quatre: What, your spandex too tight? *all except Heero bursts out laughing*

Heero: *ignores laughter* No…it's the whole balance of things…something's gonna happen…

*lights go out, they hear the door lock*

Wufei: Who's there?!

Trmpetplaya1: Don't be afraid, my little Wufei-chan…

Wufei: ……grr…why you little…

TP1: *giggles* You wouldn't hurt a _girl, now would you?_

Wufei: You don't know who you're messing with, you woman!!! *preparing to kill*

TP1: Hold your horses, Chibi Wufei, you might want to rethink your threat, later on…

Wufei: …never…*growling*

TP1: Well, let's get moving, shall we? *snaps fingers, lights come on, revealing totally different room*

Quatre: Where are we?

TP1: In my top-secret-un-penetrable-totally-safe hideout!! MWAHAHAHA!!

*all guys sweatdrop*

TP1: *composes herself* Ahem…allow me to introduce myself: I'm Trmpetplaya1, but you can call me TP1-sama.

Trowa: *mutters* How 'bout not…

TP1: *glares* Anyway, I've brought you here because I need some help.

Heero: And what makes you think we'll help you, TP1-dono?

TP1: Ahhh! Don't call me that!! (AN-I have a personal thing against the suffix '-dono'. Ask anyone who knows me well…) Well, for one thing, if you don't, you'll never see these again! *pulls out a remote control, punches a few buttons, really big door opens behind her*

*all gundam pilots gasp*

Duo: Where'd you get those?!?! *points at all the gundams that TP1-chan stole*

TP1: *grins evilly* That's not important right now, my little Shingami. Now, back to the subject. You see, I've been trying to work them, but I can't figure out what all the buttons are for…*sigh*

Heero: So?! Why should we help you?

TP1: Because…if you don't, I'll Chibify all of you and we'll play house…the TP1-chan way…*grins again*

*all guys cringe at thought*

Wufei: But, why do you want the gundams, anyway?

TP1: *goes into crazed psycho mode* Power!! My little Wufei, POWER!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wufei: *sweatdrop* Oh…soka…

TP1: *stops laughing* So, will y'all help me? *puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease? 

*guys can't resist eyes*

Heero: *sigh* Fine, we'll help you. But on one condition…

TP1: Yes? What condition?

Heero: Hang on, let me talk w/ the rest of the guys.

TP1: Sure, talk away! But you have only 5 minutes, got it?

Heero: Hai, domo. *gets all guys in a circle, lots of whispering, TP1-chan looking on curiously*

~Five minutes later…~

Heero: Ok, we've reached our decision. We'll help you, but only if you help us.

TP1: How?

Heero: First, you gotta promise.

TP1: Promise, as long as it's in my power, I'll do it. *pinky swears w/ all the guys*

Heero: Ok, Quatre, you first.

Quatre: Once you learn how to use the gundams, _I want to fly Wing Zero! *gets far away look* That's what I've always wanted…n_n_

Heero: *rolls eyes and says something that sounds suspiciously like 'Over my dead body'* Ok, Wufei?

Wufei: KILL ALL WOMEN!!!!

TP1: *sweatdrop* Umm…I can't do that, sorry…do you have an alternative?

Wufei: *thinking REALLY hard* Hmmm…kill half of them then?

TP1: *sighs* Next?

Wufei: darn…;_;

Duo: *jumping up and down, hand raised* Me! Oh memememe!!

TP1: *sweatdrop* Duo? What's your request?

Duo: The entire line of Salon Selectives Hair Products!! *starry eyed* Think of all the great things I could do to my hair, instead of this bakana braid…n_n

TP1: We'll see about that…Next?

Trowa: *gets crazed, killing look in eyes* More weapons…need…more…weapons…

TP1: Finally! Someone w/ the same perspective as me!! *hugs Trowa REALLY tightly*

Trowa: *can't breathe*…

TP1: *lets go* Ahem…and you, Heero?

Heero: I just want one thing: get rid of Relena! She drives me crazy w/ all this peace junk! Kill her off in your next couple of fics, K?

TP1: You know, Heero, that's the best request I've heard all day! *grins evilly* Can you say 'Bai-bai Relena'? ^_~

Heero: Heheheheh…Bai-bai! ^_^

*TP1-chan and Heero start laughing evilly*

Wufei: Yay!! One less woman in this stinkin' world!!! *joins in evil laughing*

Duo: Hey, if you kill her off, can I have all her hair accessories? ^_^

TP1: Sure!

Quatre: *staring at Wing Zero longingly* someday…n_n

Trowa: *still has killing look in eyes* More weapons…kill off everyone…grrrr…

TP1: Ok, you guys, back to helping TP1-chan!! 

*Trowa comes out of killing mode, Quatre stops drooling, Duo quits stroking his hair, and Wufei's and Heero's laughing reduces to giggling*

Trowa: Well, first of all, you've got to adjust the seat to fit comfortably…

*all guys give in input on how the controls work, and pointers on the important things. Like destroying*

~30 minutes later…~

TP1: Yessssss!!! I'm the MASTER!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! *high fives all the guys*

Wufei: You know, you're not so bad for a girl, after all…

Trowa: Yeah, at least _someone in this universe understands my need for heavy machinery…*starts to go into killing mode again*_

Duo: I agree…and you have the nicest hair I've ever seen *looks longingly at TP1-chan's long, silky black hair* Well, expect for mine, of course…

Quatre: And I get to fly Wing Zero!! YAY!!!

Heero: Bai-bai, Relena!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

TP1: Aww! Thanks, you guys, you're the greatest.

Duo: You know, I think this kidnapping is the best thing that's ever happened to me; definitely the most fun.

Wufei: Yah, too bad we have to go back, soon…*sigh*

TP1: You don't have to go, yet. Y'all can hang here as long as you want! ¡Mi casa es su casa!

Trowa: Yes! More time to add weapons!! *-*

Quatre: YAY!! I can fly Wing Zero longer!!! n_n

Duo: Can you do my hair, TP1-chan? I think I'm getting split ends…;_;

Wufei: Maybe she'll change her mind and kill off a third of the female population! _Yes… _

Heero: Awesome! I can help you think of ways to kill Relena! Hehehe…^_^

TP1: You guys are staying, for sure!! *smiles real big* Now, anyone up for a little minor galaxy annihilation? Hehehehe…

Quatre: I got dibs on Wing Zero!! *runs to gundam*

Heero: HEY! Come back here, you little rich brat!! *runs after him*

Duo: Umm…do you guys mind if I stay here? The sweat isn't really good for my roots, and it gets _really hot in those gundams…_

TP1: No prob! Here…*punches in a code on remote control*

Duo: AHHH!! *runs toward mini-salon that just appeared next to gundam hanger* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!! n_n

Wufei: Hmmm…I wonder how many planets out there have a feminine race I can destroy…

TP1: Oh, I know of some that would suit you just fine, Chibi Wufei! ^_^

Wufei: Yes!! HEY! I'm _not chibi!!! __

Trowa: So, about those weapons?

TP1: Here ya go…*punches in diff. code*

*a whole slew of guns, cannons, etc. appears on Heavyarms*

Trowa: You are 'da bomb, TP1-chan!!! *hugs her really hard, picks her off the ground*

TP1: I'm in heaven…n_n

Trowa: *lets her go and skips off toward Heavyarms* Lalalalala!! Mass destruction is mine!! ^_^

TP1: *snaps out of Trowa-loving trance* Hey! Wait up, you guys!! *runs over to Wing Zero* 

*Heero and Quatre are in a cat fight over the awesome gundam*

Heero: It's mine, you baka!! *pulls at Quatre's hair*

Quatre: Ha! She said _I could fly it, Relena-lover!! *sinks teeth into his arm*_

Heero: AHHHH!! Why you little….!! *clonks him over the head w/ a big Japanese fan* And I'm _not a Relena-lover!!!!_

TP1: Sorry guys, I got first dibs on Wing Zero!! *sticks out tongue and runs over to the mobile suit before they can do anything*

Heero and Quatre: HEY!! No fair!! It's mine!!!!!

TP1: *from inside the gundam* Don't worry, I'll bring it back! Meanwhile…*punches in yet _another code on her awesome remote control*_

*Two Wing Zero prototype gundams appear next to the original*

Quatre: Sweet!!! Domo arigatou gozaimasu!!! *runs to nearest Wing Zero*

Heero: Your going down, Rich Boy!!! *gets strapped into gundam*

*TP1-chan in original Wing Zero, Wufei in Shenlong, Trowa in his weapon-loaded Heavyarms, and Quatre and Heero in the Wing Zero prototypes, all leave hanger.*

Duo: *washing hair* This is Heaven, I tell you! Heaven!!! Hanyaan…n_n

*all gundam pilots (minus Duo) and TP1-chan fly off of remote island where TP1-chan's top-secret-un-penetrable-totally-safe hideout is, and head off to go destroy some minor galaxies. Everyone is happy. Except…*

~Back at GW set…~

Relena: *searching for Heero* Heero? Oh Heero!! Come out, come out where ever you are!! *all of a sudden gets hit on the head w/ a 10-ton anvil* @_@

Heero: *uses his gundam to high five TP1-chan's* Yes! We are the best!!

TP1-chan and Heero: Bai-bai, Relena!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Heero: So…TP1-chan…you busy this Friday?

TP1: *blush* No, doshite?

Heero: You wanna do some target practicing w/ our gundams?

TP1: Hai! You're on, Heero-kun!! ^_^

~The End~

AN-

So, what'd y'all think? I know it's kinda long, but it was my first time to write a story in play format. I esp. liked the ending…n_n Lol. I know it was WAY OOC (Out Of Character) but…*ish on 7th coke* Coca-cola good…mmmmm…*giggles* Lemme know what you think in your review! Ja ne!!

Trmpetplaya1 ([trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com][1])

P.S. I still want a gundam!!! _

   [1]: mailto:trmpetgrl1@icqmail.com



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